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Obscene. Disgusting. Utterly Repulsive. There are some things in this world that you just don’t do. We, as human beings, live by a reasonably standard code of morals; and this just crosses the line. Why would someone, in their right mind, do something of such flat out disrespect? I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s not that big of a deal.. that hot woman can do whatever she pleases. And I see where you’re coming from. I too enjoy women who are incapable of drinking canned soda. I too enjoy when they hold it not even an inch from their mouth and still manage to spill all over themselves.

But this is different. This is Sunkist we’re talking about here. God’s one pure gift to this raw and brutal world. It’s the one thing that hasn’t been tainted by corruption and deciete. And you don’t even respect it. You pour that liquid all over yourself and you don’t even think twice about it. Sunkist is orange, bitch, not clear!

Why do you do this to me!?! My lifelong philosophy has been not to listen to advertisements. Even when those Truth ads come on telling me not to smoke I’ll go out and buy a pack of cigarettes just to spite them. And now they throw this out there. What am I supposed to do? I really want to grab it, because that’s what the ad is telling me not to do. But at the same time, I want to abide by its ruling in not clicking it because that’s what I always do. But now the ad is telling me to do what I want to do, and what I want to do is not listen to the ad.

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